Sex should be enjoyable, but it is not easy to have fun when you are constantly worried about are you measuring up to the standard. If you want to bring the magic back in your love life, learn why you might be experiencing sexual performance anxiety and get some advice to put yourself at ease.
Conceptualizing sex as a performance, something that is being critiqued by an audience is the root of the problem. This mindset leads many men to be anxious, it is estimated that 1 in 10 men in the UK has an issue related to having sex. This pressure can have a psychological effect and may lead to erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. A situation like that will leave you feeling self-conscious, but it is important to remember that most men experience an erection problem at some point in their life.
Various medical conditions can cause sexual problems. If you experience these problems frequently while having intercourse, but rarely while you are masturbating, then it is unlikely that the cause is a medical problem. But if you are unsure, consult with a doctor.
Emotions Play a Role
Sex is more than just a physical response. Emotions play a crucial role in the process. When your mind is preoccupied with stressful ideas, your body can’t get aroused. The normal bodily reaction in that state is the release of the stress hormones epinephrine and norepinephrine. These chemicals narrows blood vessels.
When less blood flows into your penis, it is more difficult to have an erection. In effect, a physiological condition is transformed into a physiological. Even guys who usually don’t have any problems getting erections might become victims of sexual performance anxiety.
Lots of different worries can lead to the problem:
- Problems in your relationship
- Worrying that you can’t satisfy your partner
- Alcohol, smoking, illegal drugs, and some prescription medicines
- Concern over body weight
- Recovery from illness or surgery
- Worry that your penis won’t “measure up”
- Fear of ejaculating too early
Sexual performance anxiety should not rest on your shoulders alone. Talking with your partner about the reasons that are making you worry can ease some of the symptoms. When you try to find a solution together, you may improve your relationship.
Perfection is an Unrealistic Goal
There are steps you can take to reduce negative feelings. Here are four simple tips that can help you get past the thoughts that are derailing your sex life and bring confidence back in the bedroom.
- Check the Equipment
If you can masturbate, then from a physical perspective, you know your equipment is functioning correctly. Understanding your sexual response, by practicing on yourself is a decent way to reinforce that there is nothing wrong with you and you can start to build up your confidence.
- The Truth Shall Set You Free
It is a fact that not all women climax during vaginal intercourse. About 50% of women have reported that they don’t experience orgasm through penile penetration of the vagina. However, there are lots of things you can do to make your partner orgasm during sex. Spend more time building up arousal, providing clitoral stimulation during intercourse. It is crucial to avoid incorrect beliefs about how the female body works.
- Change Your Attitude
Clear your mind from concerns about stage fright. Do not worry that your penis won’t rise to the occasion, or that you might spill the “juice” too quickly. It is normal for penises to “jam” on occasions. It doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. Seeking perfection is an unrealistic and way to approach sex.
- Experience the Moment
Be present at every phase of the act, from foreplay to climax. Think about the journey instead of mentally fixating on one destination: orgasm. If you or your partner hit a bump in the road, perhaps the penis deflated, that is okay. Change the game plan, focus on kissing and pleasuring your partner. By tuning out the distracting thoughts, you will be back scoring in no time.
Treat Fear as Background Noise
Male performance anxiety leads to a cycle of issues. The productive alternative to self-monitoring is focusing on the pleasurable sensations at the moment and treating worrying feelings as unimportant background noise.
This is called mindfulness and is a good treatment for sexual performance anxiety. It is unrealistic to expect to suddenly be in the moment the next time you have sex. This takes a lot of practice!
Finally, relax and take it easy. Don’t beat yourself up about your appearance or ability in bed. Use our recommendations for sexual performance anxiety so you can get back to having a healthy and enjoyable sex life.